Hello and welcome to a piece of peace, your weekly dose of motivation and inspiration. The month of February is upon us and I know for the hopeless romantics like myself out there, this can be either an interesting and exciting time to look forward to if you have that special someone. For those of us who however are not in relationships, you can either let the excitement get to you like many do around this love month and sink into an abyss of depression as you see all the exchange of love gifts around you or you can embrace your situation and continue pushing forward and focusing on being a better you, because everyone else is already taken. Today I would like to focus on those in relationships and share on the topic of “The right principles of love”.
I do not profess to be a love councilor but in my experience, there are certain principles that I believe help couples in relationship maintain a fulfilling and happy life. In an age of the 2-year marriage syndrome, it is important to understand that relationships are hard work and like anything worth keeping, both parties need to fight for what they believe they want. It is not up to a single individual. If you are struggling, here are some principles that I came across which I believe might help you navigate this complex love maze.
1) Become Present to the Love in Your Life
We don’t need a major event such as a life-threatening illness to our self or loved one to open the door to greater awareness. Such life-altering events are often accompanied by thoughts like, Why did I need this frightening experience to get me to wake up? What can I learn from this? What should I do now? These are significant questions and we would do well to sit with them and contemplate. What are you doing that is so important that you can’t devote a few minutes each day to developing greater awareness of the precious gift of your love.
2) Listen, Listen, Listen
The first step to becoming a skillful listener is remembering that you care. There may be times when you will have to negotiate and you want to do so fairly. If you are always winning then chances are you are losing. Listen, listen, listen. Don’t keep explaining why you are right and expect your loved one to remain patient. Just like you, they want a fair chance. Think of their happiness and you will be more patient. Think of their happiness and you will be happier.
3) Practice Sharing Happiness
As we consider our personal relationships we want to be aware of any competitive or conflicted feelings we might have for those with whom we are closest. If our loved one receives a great promotion with a substantial increase in pay, or is publicly recognized for professional excellence—can we be delighted for them? Practicing being truly happy for the successes and accomplishments of our partner is a great gift to both of you.
4) Honor Your Relationship with Patience
The commitment that two independent beings make to share a life together, and perhaps to bring new life into the world, is sacred. The development of patience by both partners with each other can provide the glue that holds things together during life’s stressful times. Our words and actions with our partner will be more gentle, more caring, and reflect how we treasure each other.
5) Offer Kindness to Your Beloved
Poetically, we usually say that love emanates from the heart. In truth, love is like a spiritual gift that starts in the mind and finds its way through the heart center to physical expression. Its power cannot be overestimated. Offering loving-kindness to each other, a compassionate view of our beloved that is free of judgment, conditions, and self-interest is a blessing that reverberates long beyond love’s first blush.
No matter what you might be going through in your love life, remember that a relationship is a journey that is taken by two people. That means it is important for both of you to grow together and experience the joy and happiness of each other’s company. Do not wait for just one day in the year to show each other how you feel but instead always appreciate the little things and take each day as an opportunity to express your love to each other.
Remember, Be yourself, because everyone else is taken.