Throughout my years of helping people with how to choose the right partner for marriage, and also helping couples solve marital problems, I have come across sensitive but usually overlooked questions like managing Joint Account in marriage, when couples have different work shifts, how much money should a man spend on marriage rings, should a lady contribute financially for her wedding, when to accept a marriage proposal, when to divorce, dealing with troublesome in-laws and step children, can a married woman make a Will, how to manage abuses in marriage, and how to satisfy your husband or wife sexually.
People marry for many reasons like ‘love’, happiness, money, companionship, physical attraction, desire to escape from an unhappy situation and the desire to have children. Most couple’s marriage life is filled up with achievable and non achievable expectations. Some of the expectations will be realistic while others unrealistic. This is due to the complex nature of marriage, and each individual is as complex as how we arrive at the decision to marry. For me, marriage goes beyond these interests.
I always say to my listeners and viewers on radio and TV that there are no definite answers to issues in human relations like relationships and marriage. But the subjective views from a marriage counselor, relationship expert and sex educator like me, and with the knowledge you have acquired from others and from your own experience will help you shape your relationship or marriage for the better.
Personally, I don’t claim to have answers to every relationship or marriage issues, but I strongly believe that understanding the institution of marriage will surely help you to lift a standard against the fierce flood that always seek to devour our relationships and marriages. This is because if you keep on doing the same old things you are likely to get the same old results.
There is no doubt that the choice of a marital partner is one of the most important decisions one makes in his or her lifetime, and this is one basic challenge that this series seek to make easier for all those who are yet to enter into marriage and also offer adequate, practical and sustainable knowledge for all those who are already in marriage.
However, I see marriage really as not just the form or type chosen, but a conscious and holy agreement, commitment with love and responsibility for peace. Marriage is about sacrificing your freedom to attain the ultimate happiness of your partner and your descendants. It involves emotional and legal commitments. This is why I keep saying that a relationship or even courtship is not the stage to know everything about your partner. Neither is marriage the stage to meet shock and surprises about your partner.
What are your reasons for falling in love? Are you going to achieve them? Think about it. Medaase (meaning Thank You).
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