Are there enough marriage mentors in our society who portray true marital values for our children to look up to? What do we see now? Puberty rites such as Bragoro and Dipo that prepares young women for marriage which must be modernized have rather been demonized and abolished in most places in Ghana, and we see the television, radio, internet and social media taking the mentorship roles of teachers and parents in our society.
Now, ethics and moral education to be practiced and taught by teachers and parents is rarely practiced. Sexual and reproductive health education taught by teachers and parents refuses to teach the realities on the ground to meet the changing trend of our society. And sadly, the use of our Ghanaian Language is forbidden in some schools and homes, and seen as a normal subject of study in schools. So sex and marriage is mostly understood from the western point of view because our local language has little or forbidden expressions for them.
The greatest disappointment I see in our marriage education and counseling structure is the reasons we keep giving to the singles of how important marital education is to them. We often teach them to stay away from sex, have a great wedding, love each other, have children, never divorce and have a great marriage in future.
Here are some commandments for singles that are in relationship leading to marriage:
- Do not think he or she loves you because he or she gives you more attention than what he or she gives to others when he has not proposed to you or she has not accepted your proposal.
- Be careful with promises because not every relationship must necessarily lead to marriage.
- Do not stay in an abusive relationship. Whether verbal, emotional or physical abuse.
- Do not compare your partner to your Ex partner in anyway.
- Never whatsapp or send your naked or half naked pictures to your partner.
- Upgrade yourself with schooling or apprenticeship.
- Say no to blood covenant.
- Do not rush into marriage.
- Do not use pregnancy to trap a man to marry you.
- Do not use more than half of your savings or go for a loan to marry.
- There is the traditional marriage and White wedding. Do the type of marriage you believe in not what you are forced to do?
- Never marry someone you don’t really know his or her real family members.
- No marriage no spending.
- No marriage no sex. Wear your dross now.
My dear, which of these commandments have you broken? Think about it. Medaase
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